World Cup Fever
It's not that Americans aren't interested in the World Cup (the worldwide soccer tournament held every four years.) It's just that most of us haven't been infected with World Cup Fever. It's a foreign disease. I can tell this because I know not a single American with World Cup Fever who roots for the USA team. If you even try, you'll be humiliated even if the USA team wins. For instance, in 2002, when Peter and I wanted to see the USA versus Mexico showdown (which the USA won), we had to go to a British pub which advertised it would have all the World Cup games. But when we asked for this game, all they came up with was a videocassette with the game taped off a Spanish-speaking channel. We were the only people in the pub watching the game, and the announcers would get into an angry fluster every time the Americans made a goal.
The major transmitters of World Cup Fever, at least around here, are the Brazilians. They came to play in the World Cup in Palo Alto in 1994. Most of us didn't even know what the World Cup was, but we did take notice of the Brazilians. They took over Los Gatos and threw one amazing nonstop party for three weeks. They won over the locals so thoroughly that it was just a given that they had to win the title. After all, they'd become our local team. Peter and I avoided catching World Cup Fever that year since we had better things to do than drink and dance all night in Los Gatos, but we heard all about it in our local newspaper. To this day, if we run across someone with World Cup Fever, around here, there's a pretty good chance they're wearing a "Brasil" jersey.
Therefore, my theory on the USA's humiliating defeat to Ghana (Ghana, for god's sake!) was that it was on purpose. The American players know their countrymen don't care that they're playing, and we sure don't care if they win. And winning against Ghana would have pitted the USA team against Brazil. And just imagine the psychological conflict and difficulties a US win against Brazil would be. 'Tis much better to play like idiots and let someone else take on the Brazilians. I respect the USA team for that.
Now I don't mean to imply that World Cup Fever comes exclusively from the Brazilians. It's transmitted by all types of foreigners, and the American infected will always root for the nationality which infected him. For instance, in 2002, it was the English who infected me with World Cup Fever, so this year I followed each of their matches with enough excitement to show me as touched (much to Peter's amusement). And then, they lost to Portugal...on penalty kicks. Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Disconsolate, I turned my attention to the Brazilians, who I figured were just going to win again any way. But the French, not having the finesse and courtesy of the Americans, kicked them out of the contest. How rude! How very annoying! That's just so French.
Perhaps, I thought, I will root for Germany, because they were the hosts and my mother was German. But they were playing the Italians, and my friend Rick has Italian World Cup Fever. He implied, that despite all his affection for me and our long-standing friendship, he might not be able to speak to me if I happened to cheer for Germany in the German-Italian match. So I wasn't really heartbroken when the Germans found themselves outmatched by the Italians.
World Cup Fever is really an odd disease. In European countries, it's almost purely a male affliction. But here, it's randomly transmitted. For instance, the television monitor at the San Francisco Fire Department Museum was tuned in to the World Cup, and the docent, a woman, was curt at best as Italy and France went into overtime. I think that monitor was supposed to be showing a short video of the fire department history, but nothing may cut into World Cup Fever.
So, for all those of you not infected with the Fever, Italy won the 2006 World Cup. It's all over now. I can let my disease go dormant again for another 4 years,when England has another chance.