Last week, all parents received a memo from the principal that all school volunteers had to be fingerprinted. I didn't think anything of it, until I found out the details. Apparently, the fingerprinting costs $57, must be done on a special machine, and includes a criminal background check both with the Department of Justice and the FBI. That seems rather extreme for the parent who's just cutting construction paper or reading to children in the classroom. And the insult didn't end just there: this check had to be done by appointment only, at a particular office that was only open during limited hours in the middle of the week, and the only way you could pay for it was with a cashier's check or money order--not even cash was accepted. Oh, and you better have it all done by April 15 or never show your face in your child's classroom again.

Besides being stupid and invasive, it will also destroy the very fibers that help my son's magnet school function. Neil doesn't need help in the classroom, but if I'm there I can help the transfer student learn how to count above 5 so the teacher doesn't have to drag the entire class into boredom doing the same thing. Moreoever, the entire school runs on its volunteer base: without them there wouldn't be any library access, art instruction, school fairs, or fundraisers, not to mention the hundreds of parents who help classrooms be more efficient. There is nothing that could destroy this as quickly and effectively as this policy.

At the HIPS (our PTA) meeting, I asked the school principal what the basis of the policy was and why it was suddenly being sprung upon us. She pulled out the district's memo, which said it was required by state law. I asked her which state law it was, and wrote it down, because I had to see it for myself. She also said apparently this policy had actually been in effect since 2003, from when the memo was (supposedly) dated; I pointed out that the Student/Parent Handbook which all parents are given at the beginning of each school year (and are supposed to sign off acknowledging that they've read it) never mentioned such a policy.

The idiocy continued from there. As soon as I got home, I looked up the cited state law (California Health & Safety Code 1596.871 in case you're interested). It did talk about fingerprinting and FBI background checks. But it applied to day care centers, and it explicitly excluded parent volunteers. There were a lot of other discrepancies between the district policy and what this law said, but in any case, it obviously wasn't relevant.

I took this information to the principal and she took it back to the district's assistant superintendent, who admitted the policy actually had nothing to do with state law. But, screw you anyway parents, it's district policy and you have to abide by it. And he gave a lame excuse that it would keep child molesters away from our children.

Silly me: I already thought the district had some pretty strict standards along those lines. All campus visitors have to check in at the office and if you say you're volunteering, the school secretary will ask your name and check to make sure the TB test we all had to have is on file. In the handbook, there's an entire appendix on Megan's Law, the database which lists known sex offenders, and California and the San Jose Police in particular are especially indifferent to any privacy concerns known perverts may have. Right from my desk, I can search California's sex offender database, which conveniently includes mug shots. I can't see how it would be that much of a problem to run the name on the recently-delivered TB test against the database. If you happen to get a hit and the face matches, just call the police and one known sex offender will be right back in jail. And if Joe Pervert hasn't been caught, an FBI fingerprint check isn't going to identify him any more than the Megan's Law database would. And that's why the law already requires school volunteers to be supervised by a district employee--which has always been the case in my experience.

On the other hand, I have certain issues with being treated as a suspected sex offender merely because I want to be in my own son's classroom, to see how it functions, and who the children are who are going to school with him. Instinctively, I also have some issues with handing over a set of my fingerprints to the FBI. There's this little thing called the Fourth Amendment, and there is no justifiable reason to take my fingerprints, much less at my cost and inconvenience. It strikes me as really odd that the same moms who were complaining about federal wiretaps of suspected terrorists are perfectly happy to give their fingerprints to the same federal organization just so they can punch lap cards at the spring walk-a-thon.

I did write a strongly worded letter to the district superintendent and the school board president, but I don't have high hopes of them paying attention to it. I'm just opting out of my son's school life, and I'm afraid a lot of other parents will, too.